There's nothing I'm more proud of than to be a mum to my 3(4) kids . I can't help but still think of myself as a mum to four kids even if I actually only have three living ones. (That was a hard sentence for me to type.) 😔 I've never celebrated Mother's Day but I think my kids love it. They'll remind me that I'm suppose to put my feet , rest and do nothing all day. That obviously works theoratically but never practically. They continue being 16, 9 and 6 and I continue being a mum.
Before I slept last night I had a list of things to do. And the thing with me is that I'm not satisfied till everything on that list gets ticked off. So, when I woke up this morning, the kids were woken by my yelling and the list of things we had to do. Poor kids... Honestly, they're quite tolerant as I can be overwhelming. They were up and ready by 8am and off we went to make deliveries of my kaftans, popped by mum's and when to the kubur .
I had to be there this morning. Marisa loved all sorts of holidays and she always found a reason to celebrate everything. She would say "Tomorrow is Mother's Day Mum, what do you want to do?". Always looking for reasons to go out. We usually celebrate everything with food and honestly eating out is the one time we would sit with each other and really talk. So eating out is kind of compulsory on weekends at her choice of restaurant .
We were at the kubur quite early. I brought the plants and the pot that I purchased to be planted at her kubur as her batu nisan is nearly ready. Something simple and nice. So it was pokok melur and cempaka. Hung around the grave while the caretakers planted the plants. Next week all will be ready hopefully. I needed to sort her ' last home' before I did anything else today. I can't help being a mum even if she is no longer around. Sometimes in my prayer I still doa for her happiness and I forget that she's not around. Hard habit to break....
My other 3 kids are a joy and a challenge. Honestly the girls drive me up the wall. Marisa agreed with me on this point. They're 3 years apart and they are continuously playing and chatting and always have something up their sleeves. They exasperate me!😅😅 But they're the ones to insist we go out to celebrate Mother's Day even if I was too tired after my long day of errands.
I don't think I've done much to leave a mark in life. My life is too routine and mundane to ever be made into a book or a movie but honestly I'm satisfied and happy. I have my kids, hubs, mum and sisters who keeps me really busy. I don't need much. I just need a few that means a lot and I have that. It's enough that I have kids that hugs and kisses me everyday, a husband that calls out my name every time he enters the house, a mum that I can still call when I need advise and sisters to disagree with everyday. That is bliss to me. Standing in front of Marisa's grave today I realized how I'm so so lucky to have had the opportunity to take care of her. It was never ever a burden. It was a blessing. And I realised even though today is Mother's Day , I'm blessed to be a woman. To be a mum, wife, daughter and a sister.