It's been a busy month. Langkawi , piano exams , choirs, prefects camp , faulty water pump , and today marks a month since I lost my dear daughter Marisa. She passed away on Friday the 27th February and today it's 27th March , Friday . Time does fly fast. Yet I don't think the heart has fully recovered.
For the past four weeks every Friday has been the same. I recollect rushing her to the hospital and everything else afterwards right to bringing her back home where she passed away. I remember lying next to her telling her everything I wanted and needed to tell her as her tears and my tears stream down our cheeks. She heard me. She always told me that 'Mummy, you're my person." We got that from Grey's Anatomy. I hope she knew that she's mine.
This morning after sending Lisa to school and I was standing in the kitchen I wanted to call out to her and ask her what she wanted for breakfast and I realised she's not upstairs. I miss talking to her. I miss telling her about my day and catching up on all the celebrity gossips. I'm sure she would have something to say about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction.
Fridays are always the busiest because of the children's timing. They are in and out and I'm driving in and out. But when I pick Mazhar from the mosque I only remember bringing her back in the ambulance . I could hear the khutbah drowned by the noisy siren as we passed the mosque. It's the same mosque that I bathed her, 'kapan' her and performed the solat jenazah for her. It's also the place where I kissed her beautiful face for the last time. That's what the mosque reminds me off every day I pass by it.
Friday somehow has a different feeling now. A day that goes slowly by the minute , taking me through all that happened a month ago. I have a feeling that's how it'll always feel for me.Then again, I could not be more grateful as she returned to our Creator, Allah on a blessed Friday. Alhamdulillah.